The Backwards Thread

[Long Con]

Speaking of hillbillies, check this joke out:

What does a hillbilly call a deer with no eyes?

No-eye deer! ;)



er... it's funnier when spoken. :rolleyes:

[fsuer]

I got it.. Solid.

What does a hillbillly say when a bee is in his friend's house.

Must've came innuendo.

[Freckles]

That's really nice of you to say. Maybe some jokes will cheer me up.

[Long Con]

Throw that thing in the trash, it's dirty! Why are you always-

*jaw drops*

Freckles! You... you look absolutely stunning today! :eek: What's wrong?

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

haha remember when we talked about coffee and we went out of conversation?

Look what I've found:D

*plays with a pile of hair mixed with poop*

[Losty McLost]

That was a great moment, I love reminiscing. :D

Anybody got anymore memories to share?

[Freckles]

My short-term memory isn't great.

I do remember that time we all played that game, and wound up soaking wet in the middle of nowhere... Good times!

[lilkatielady]

I know! I'm freakin starving. Hey Freckles, where did you put that peanut butter?

[Freckles]

I can neither confirm, nor deny that that ever happened. :o I could, however, go for a sandwich.

[lilkatielady]

No. I slept by myself last night. But I did see Freckles leaving Desmond's tent.

[Long Con]

I couldn't sleep at all! :mad:

Was all that moaning, giggling, and occasional yelp coming from your tent last night, LKL? :D Not to pry or anything...

[Losty McLost]

Good morning everyone! How did you all sleep? *is chirpy* :D

[Freckles]

No thanks, I'm not much of a breakfast person. I will take a cup of coffee though, cream, no sugar.

[Losty McLost]

*wakes up, stretches, comes out of tent*

Cereal anyone?

*starts to perk up slightly*

[Freckles]

*Screams!* That boar scared the crap out of me! I hope I didn't wake anyone up. Sounds like L McL is getting up.

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

what the hell are you talking about man?

I just said that it's more likely to pre-----------------

[Freckles]

I didn't mean to stand you guys up, I really thought the party was *next* weekend! Do you think they're gonna stay mad at me?

[Workman]

The party last week was soooo fun! And since you asked about it, it was also super cool.

[Freckles]

If I remember correctly, she said 42 of them. How was that party?

[Workman]

Why do you want to know the plural of that?!?! How many of those things do you need?!?!

[Freckles]

He really needs to learn to keep his hands to himself, he's going to get into some serious trouble. Hey, what's the plural of ox? Ox? Oxes? Oxi?

[Long Con]

*feels queasy* I just got tricked into seeing TMBTC's severed hand collection again! WHY do we keep falling for it? It's horrible!!

[Freckles]

What is that supposed to mean anyway?? LC, you look a little pale, everything ok?

[Long Con]

*muttering* Gotta... hand it to him...

Gimme a hand, gimme a hand....

*sofly singing* this hand is your ha-a-a-nnnndd.....

[Freckles]

There's really no need for all that. Are..what..is...what are you saying?!?

[Workman]

Of course I know the answer to that! It has to do with the quantum irregularities found at the event horizon of a black hole.

[Long Con]

Here, let me try... *grunt* Arrrggh.... can someone tell me why this jar of pickles is so hard to open???


Oh, hey TMBTC... what, you wanna show me something? *goes*

[Workman]

That's a silly statement... can anybody open this jar of pickles? ;)

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

I TOLD YOU

I am the eggman cause I left an egg when I was 32 even though I'm still 18

[Coriolanus]

I remember her from that night in Budapest, but who are you?

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

hahahhaHAHHAHAHAHAH:D that girl is a little shy sometimes.. but once you get her to open up.............;) you know right?

[Coriolanus]

Was there any doubt? So what do you think of Rose?

[GOBernardGO]

I still think butterfinger > snickers

[lostaddict12]

Butterfingers and Snickers are both good! I'll have to think about that one.

[BabySmokey]

posts then hides in corner

[Long Con]

Butterfingers and Snickers are both good! I'll have to think about that one.

Oh, I was just AT a gas station. Bought myself a Crunchie! I love them... what's your favourite chocolate bar?

[BabySmokey]

I just got robbed at this gas station run by three hillbilly redneck hicks!

[diggler]

I mainly listen to country music. Speaking of which, has anyone heard what the Dixie Chicks are up to recently?

[BabySmokey]

Country sucks, agree?

[Coriolanus]

I thought this was the backwards thread. What music don't you like?

[BabySmokey]

That makes sense, what thread is this?

[diggler]

Wow. That's really interesting. It kinda makes me think that if everyone dumps purple kool-ade into the oceans, we can turn the sky purple instead of blue!

[BabySmokey]

Sorry to change the subject but you ever think that they truned the sky purple by just shooting up purple fireworks?

[diggler]

Well I never really agreed with the current US administration's foreign policy, but hopefully that will change come November.

[BabySmokey]

To TMBTC-How can you think in that racist way?

[Freckles]

I don't know, he hasn't said a word to me all day. It's like he thinks I have the Black Plague or something...

[Losty McLost]

Sounds good.

Hey Frex, how's TMBTC today?

[Coriolanus]

For the last time NO!!!

[BabySmokey]

TMBTC no, we dont think that about michael,rose,walt, and eko!

[Coriolanus]

TMBTC wants to know if you think Michael, Walt, Rose and Eko are awsome.

[Long Con]

No, he left his cell phone behind! Ha! :D

Oh, Mr. Anus, TMBTC asked me to give this to you. *hands over message*

[Coriolanus]

Will you give this message from TMBTC back to me - oh, and remember to call me Mr. Anus.

[Long Con]

"I SAID ONION RINGS!!!"

Sorry, Cori, I had to clear that up - did you say you had some confusing instructions for me?

[Freckles]

I might be able to , I'll look at my planner and have my people call your people.

I overheard you the other day LC, I didn't know you could order those by phone, but when it comes, my answer is yes, I will marry you!

[Long Con]

It's that kind of thing that keeps you young, and carefree!

Hey, Freckles, you wanna race to that tree over there? :)

[BabySmokey]

Hey freckles since your granting wishes wanna make out over behind that tree?

[Freckles]

That's a tall order, but I'm sure I can figure out how to make it happen.

[Long Con]

Pfft, EVERYONE knows Frex has sweet-ass powers!

Hey Frex, any chance you could get me into the NFL as a star quarterback?

[Freckles]

You seem really shocked that I could do that... Are you new here?

Anyone else have a request?

[BabySmokey]

You can stick all that in your mouth?

[Freckles]

I don't know, he just came out of nowhere and started acting like he owns the place...

Check this out!...*mmHmnmnlmmmnbl*

[BabySmokey]

Who is W4L?

[diggler]

Feckles TOTALLY rox my socks off, but W4L is cool too!

[Workman]

I don't think that's supposed to go there! Do you like Freckles or Feckles?

[BabySmokey]

Yes Freckles he does think your smokin! Anyways I gotta put my shoes on my feet

[Workman]

Are you sure he thinks Freckles is smokin?

[diggler]

I wonder who the hottest LP'er is. BS says it's Freckles.

[The Smiley-Faced Balloon]

AlaskaDave- *Swoon*

[BabySmokey]

Did Diggler just say Freckles is BangingSexy???

[Workman]

Is that really what diggler said?

[diggler]

People have been spreading some pretty wild rumors about me accusing me of making sexually harassing remarks such as "Freckles is Bangin' Smokey."

[amama2six]

I've heard some crazy rumors about diggler lately but I'll let him tell you all about it.

[BabySmokey]

Anyone else hear what Diggler said about Frex yesterday???

[diggler]

Go ahead and talk as though I'm not even here, y'all!

[amama2six]

I think diggler has some issues with people on the forum.

[diggler]

I've never really liked cliques. They make newcomers feel like outsiders looking in.

[The Smiley-Faced Balloon]

It's important to have good friends on this forum.

[Long Con]

Maybe you should bake them each a cake?

There's something to be said for networking... making connections!

[W8_4_LOST]

Hey I just win cake bakers contest

[Long Con]

It's heavier when it's wet, so you should totally wait a little while.

Why the big smile, W4L?

[W8_4_LOST]

I dont understand why it is so heavy :D

[Long Con]

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to spill my drink on your nice carpet!

Hey... what are you doing... you can't - it's...

[W8_4_LOST]

Here is yours ice tea. HEY WATCH OUT!!!

[Long Con]

They were a little weirded out when I showed them my "I'm holding a drink" jig!

*excitement*

Hey, can I... I mean, is one of those mine? :D :D :D

[W8_4_LOST]

So how refere rated your jig in jig contest?

[Freckles]

Yes! I'm eating one right now! What's this I hear about LC dancing?

[BabySmokey]

So theres this BIG danging contest coming up in LP this sunday...

[Long Con]

You know what I find delicious? Danging contests! :D

[W8_4_LOST]

Oh don't worry 'bout that. Do you found anything delicious?

[BabySmokey]

W8 keeps hitting on me, its creeeeeeeeeeping me out! Im worried!

[W8_4_LOST]

HEY BS *hits him in head*

[diggler]

W4L, I'll give ya $5 if ya hit BS upside the head for changing his sig.

[W8_4_LOST]

I need it. But I haven't enough money to buy it :(

[diggler]

I can't believe gas prices have reached $4-$5 in some places.

[W8_4_LOST]

I think I won't buy a car couse gas here costs 3€

[diggler]

I don't think I could live without my car. Of course, owning one does have some other high costs associated with it.

[W8_4_LOST]

Wath do you prefer car or bike?

[BabySmokey]

OMG W8 thats disgusting!How do you do that with your foot AND your head???:eek: lets change the subject!

[W8_4_LOST]

Hey I can do tricks whith ball on head and foot

[diggler]

What is your absolute WEIRDEST useless talent?

[W8_4_LOST]

Oh yeah thats realy weird

[diggler]

I can wrap my arm around my head and then stick my fist in my mouth.

[W8_4_LOST]

Oh yeah thats funny video. What weirdys you can do?

[diggler]

Sometimes I just spend hours on youtube watching the crazy videos.

[Long Con]

Everyone's got a weird friend named Kevin!

Here's (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGOTf3Xl6Qs) mine! Oh, that Kevin.

[W8_4_LOST]

What is your best youtube category?

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

whoops.. sorry for the linkitis.. I edited.. I was watching youtube stuff:o

[Listed89]

You what?!!

Reminds me of this kinda funny video (http://youtube.com/watch?v=GcatQSyRK6c):p

[BabySmokey]

I ate Listeds cookie! and then got on youtube!

[Listed89]

Sounds cool... I was supposed to eat my cookie right now, but someone ran away with it. Who???:mad:

[W8_4_LOST]

Hey I will ate cooke with milk

[BabySmokey]

Listed did you like the cookie TMBTC baked you?

[Listed89]

Haha :D well I guess that's what cookies are for :p

[BabySmokey]

W8 stop insulting Listed!

Hey Listed, TMBTC made you this cookie to eat

[diggler]

BS I found this cookie in the trash. You should try and get someone to eat it!

[W8_4_LOST]

What? I didn't do that! Diggler go to *insult*

[BabySmokey]

W8, Diggler said you tried to kiss him. FREAK!

[W8_4_LOST]

Hey BS you kissed Diggler, you are the bravy. I could never dear to kiss dig

[Listed89]

Thanks:p

I agree BS, I think that would totally make W8 kiss Dig (would make him a bravy)!:D

[BabySmokey]

No matter what W8 says Listed's cool!

If Dig were to post 5 posts after this W8 would wanna kiss him!

[W8_4_LOST]

If diggler can do that he still not cool

[diggler]

I'm gonna take a break for a bit, y'all. Please don't talk about me while I'm gone.

[Listed89]

Guys, are you gonna let W8 talk to us like this? It's nonsense!
Anybody stick up for me? For Diggler?
BS, are you there? I mean, I'm fine, but.. I think you're scaring Dig away, W8! Diggler is cool. I mean.. I wonder what he'll have to say about this.

[W8_4_LOST]

Hey you *sensored* I am goona make U Pay for that!

[diggler]

I'm just chillin' here so I don't need this crap! *slaps W8 in the head*

[BabySmokey]

This is crazy W8! He shouldnt take that! Im leaving!

[W8_4_LOST]

If you want 1 000 000 000€ just take it from me

[diggler]

I really should keep looking for a job online cuz I need the money, but I also have a HUGE migrane.

[Losty McLost]

That reminds me - hey Diggler, wanna play Pacman? :D

[Listed89]

Told you so :D

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

damn.. I still got owned at tetris:(

[diggler]

I was ALWAYS good at Tetris. Wanna play TMBTC?

[Long Con]

Last time I did that, I fell down and got the wind knocked out of me!

Ah, when we were kids... what was YOUR best quality?

[W8_4_LOST]

Have you ever felt from 33 stories building roof?

[diggler]

I've always had a mild fear of heights yet I stilll wanna skydive sometime before I die.

[Long Con]

I have some arachnophobia, but I still like to let spiders crawl on me for some reason!

[diggler]

I KNOW! Some phobias aren't that crippling, though.

[Long Con]

Did you see BabySmokey when that flock of geese came around? He freaked out!! I've seen ornithophobia before, but that was off the freakin' map!!

[diggler]

I haven't even been to the main forum in a while. I kinda like hangin' out with the folks here in the games forum! Some of them are CA-RAAAAZZZZY...but in a good way. :)

[Long Con]

I just saw the Lost Graphics, Avatars, and Banners thread in the Main Forum... what the hell?

[Losty McLost]

...And then I turned the wheel, and moved the OT forum.

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

aha.. and then?:eek: *bites nails*

[BabySmokey]

I was watching this movie. There were college kids in a car playing a game of poker. And the loser has to flash.

[Long Con]

That's as chocolatey as it gets!

Hey - BS: What were you doing last night??

[diggler]

I went to a state fair last year and one of the booths had deep fried candy bars dipped in hot fudge and sprinkled with cocoa powder.

[BabySmokey]

Yes! Yes she did take her top off! Digglers crush took her top off for Smiley, W8, and TMBTC!!!

BTW, anyone here like chocolate? I got tickets to the State Fair-Chocolate Lovers paradise!

[Losty McLost]

Are you telling me that that robot removed its entire top half? :eek:

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

why are you eeking?

[BabySmokey]

:eek: thats gross

[amama2six]

Then amama2six and Freckles got freaky playing Twister and the tops came off!

[BabySmokey]

WHOA! Thanks for explaining how Frex, Lolli, and you look naked! ;)

So you and Frex were making out on her bed with no pants on while a naked Lolli filmed it!!!! *drools* And then what happened?

[Long Con]

Yeah, my final thesis presentation in University was a joke too - I was studying human sexuality, and Frex and lolli were nice enough to provide me with physical descriptions of themselves, which I read to the audience.

Actually, it was part of a psychological experiment - the hypothesis was that the people with more perverted minds would be unable to stop thanking me for it, and would delve deeper into a fantasy world of pornographic proportions.

[Listed89]

LC is good at making jokes :D (in public:p)
You got another story up your sleeve? *waits desperately*

[Long Con]

Well, that's all awesome, but, let me finish the joke I started earlier!

...anyways, the confused bartender grabs a dictionary, and turns to the 'K' section, finding the definition: "Koala. Grey bearlike marsupial found in Australia. Eats shoots and leaves."

:D :D

I love that one.

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

a car just passed by:eek:

[Long Con]

That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

So, anyways, let me--

TMBTC, why do you look so stunned??

[Listed89]

TMBTC, what--? What is it? :confused:

Anyway, BS: You think THAT's the biggest dog you've ever seen?
Well I'll show you mine :eek::

http://www.fwditon.com/attachments/2007/4/26/117764823936_image00146.jpg

I feel sorry for the horse if the dog ends up in a fight with it! :eek::eek::eek:

[BabySmokey]

Favorite animal? uhhhhh

http://daveweaver.net/media/blog/WindowsLiveWriter/WorldsLargestBulldog_9495/Dolly3.jpg
thats gotta be the biggest dog in the world!

[Listed89]

No thank you. :eek: I prefer dogs, I guess they're my favorite. I just like them better.
But I have a size preference. Not too small - they bark and b*tch a lot. Not too big - I'm trying to picture a life with that. I'll have to google it.
It has to perfect... then it could really be my favorite animal!

Vincent:
http://www.gitsiegirl.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/lost_vincent.jpg

[BabySmokey]

I LIKE MONKEYS!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY MONKEYS!!!!!!!!! :) monkeys make me happy :)

[TheManBehindTheCurtain]

haha:D well since we're talking about zoos and whatnot.. look what I found:D

http://www.pbfcomics.com/archive_b/PBF042-Monkey_Photographer.gif

I love it in the third ic--- :eek:

:eek:
:eek:
:eek:
:eek:

[PistolWhip]

I havn't been to the zoo in a longgggg time. I love zoos :3

[Long Con]

:rolleyes: I'm sure that hilarity ensued!

So, check out this joke: A koala walks into a bar, plops its ass down in front of the bartender, and says "Gimme a burger!" The bartender raises his eyebrows, but takes the order into the kitchen, returning with a burger.

The koala gobbles it down messily, and is soon done. When the bartender sets the bill down in front of him, the koala slams his paws down on the bar angrily, and pulls out a shotgun, firing at the jukebox, the windows, the other customers, the ducking bartender, until the bar is just in shambles.

He then turns to go, and when he reaches the door, the bartender musters up the nerve to shout, "What the hell was that all about???"

The irritated koala glances back and snarls, "I'm a koala - look it up!"--

..
.

what? yes, PistolWhip, they have koalas in zoos, now, let me finish the joke...

[BabySmokey]

So how did it end? with hilarity?

[Losty McLost]

That's not nearly as shocking as the time that I tripped on a shoe I'd left at the top of a staircase and fell down it.

[BabySmokey]

One time I saw a rat run up and jump on a cats back LOL!!!!

[Long Con]

I couldn't believe the tricks they were doing! Unicycles, tightrope walking, complex equations! I've never seen rats do that before!

[Losty McLost]

You think that's great, just wait till you here this story. Hey LC, tell 'em about those rats we saw last weekend.

[BabySmokey]

Kate...Kate is great!

[BabySmokey]

I BabySmokey hear by declare my love for Kate <3

[Listed89]

Hey! Why don't we all do that? :p (or at least you and me BS :D)

[Listed89]

Good for you! :)

Now I just feel the need to say something that makes me happy......

I, Listed89, hereby declare my love for Kate <3

[lostaddict12]

I'm so happy! um...I don't know why...:)

[Long Con]

No, I preferred Thundercats!

*glances up*

Why, lostaddict... you look fabulous today! Your hair, that shirt - you're positively glowing! You look like a fashion model. Seriously!

Wow!

[BabySmokey]

DUUUUUUUDE, you gotta see LA today! :p

[Long Con]

It's not really an option for me right now.

Hey, here comes BS!

[Freckles]

I saw one of those the other day, it was awesome!!

Hey, LC want to buy some Girl Scout cookies?

[Long Con]

Too bad - whenever I'm feeling down, I just gaze into my Mirror of Attractiveness.. it helps out immensely!

*holds up mirror*

[Listed89]

Yeah, I feel down sometimes too. Does anyone have a suggestion as to what might help make me feel better?
I mean, sometimes I just wish I wasn't here. :(

[HenryGale666]

God, I hate when people lay their problems on me like that... you never feel down right? you wouldn't lay that on m--

[Losty McLost]

I so know what you're talking about. The other day, this guy came up to me and asked me to tell his wife he was leaving her for him...long story short I ended up in A&E... :rolleyes:

[Long Con]

She's bisexual? Jeez, it's hard to wrap your head around... why can't people just deal with things themselves?

[Malion]

lol why'd he make out with you?

aaaand, in other news....
I know this will floor the community for a couple months... but my old girlfriend... left me for another girl. :eek:
She wanted me to tell her folks but I ain't touching that.

[Freckles]

I can totally see him doing something crazy like that!

He made out with me under the head table at a wedding one time. He was the best man.

[Malion]

Wait, you know my brother Ilam?

He just stripped naked and stole my record player. :mad:

[Long Con]

That's crazy - I haven't been that drunk since the big bush party that Ilam threw. Dude, that guy was LOADED!

[Freckles]

Oh, I tried that one time. The taste was ok, but I didn't care for the texture.

It might be because LC made it for us at a party one time. He had just done like, 7 shots of tequila...

[Long Con]

You must have been tired!

Perhaps this glass of ice-cold blended pug will refresh you?

[Malion]

Thats a long time to watch something on TV...

I remember I sat through the entire Extended LOTR trilogy, while doing advance calculus homework... I didn't sleep a wink....

[Long Con]

Damn right, and I'm finally done! Done rewatching my entire porn DVD collection! :D

[LostHeroes]

What the bump?

[Long Con]

*facepalm*

[Eccentrick]

Herpes?

[Long Con]

So, basically, you're asking what's the best way to kill crabs? E-trick, do you know a way?

[sawyer540]

sdrawkcab

[Listed89]

What I mean is, I want to know how to get rid of them!